knowsvinewhip | + IC CONTACT +

[let you turn into a beast]

[Oh sir. Oh you are a good man. You're not the sort of man that Hakkai deserves. This - it probably was only a matter of time before it came out. He just would have preferred it to have been on different terms. But since when was karma ever that kind to someone like him?]

It would not be the same. I know that I am capable of handling a monster.

[... it takes one to handle one, after all.]

You have seen my history. But not the entirety of it - not the penance I paid.

[ Thankfully it's not like the man takes that first part very personally. Handling monsters has nothing to do with strength, after all - or even with anything remotely to do with capabilities in Daniel's own world. People from his world just simply aren't as equipped to handle monsters since it's not a thing there. It's just a fact.

And it's something he's easily distracted from anyway due to what Hakkai follows it up with. ]

What do you mean, penance?

[ Sure. Daniel has seen Hakkai do.. a whole lot of things that weren't exactly great, but he's also seen the man hurt. Not to mention that Daniel refuses to even entertain the thought of Hakkai not being a good person with everything he's done for him here.

So, why-- ]

What happened?

[ Look, if Hakkai has already said this much, he's just got to lay out the entire deal, right? ]

[Daniel you are one of those cinnamon rolls who are too good for this world. Too pure. There is nothing good about this man. It was all washed away in blood and rain. But it's kind of you to care.]

[Kind enough to where Hakkai is absolutely convinced Daniel should be nowhere near him in this state. Not without a safeguard.]

What is the saying? Those who fight monsters become one themselves...? It's a very apt saying.

[That's dancing around the issue too. This dramatic bitch.]

[Then there's silence. For a very long time. His words written, deleted, written again. Before he finally settles on something. Something probably no less dramatic and concerning, but hey. It's more direct.]

Our universe has taken that phrase quite literally. To use terminology from this world - killing enough, murdering enough monsters in cold blood. You will become one.

[Is that enough. Has he made himself clear. Please say yes.]

[ God, well, that does make a whole lot of things make sense. A whole lot of pieces of Hakkai's personality are suddenly clicking in place, alright. So the entire beast thing isn't just a feature of this world, but there's other worlds out there that are just like it - or similar, anyway, since he can already grasp a bit of difference in nuance from what Hakkai is saying here.

But even though that sure as hell is one realisation-- ]

Okay, so where are you right now?

[ --well, it also doesn't change some things. ]

I don't care if you're the freaking purple people eater itself. [ Daniel, p-please don't use old timey dad references that will go right over people's heads-- ] I'm still not going to let you suffer out there by yourself. You're still Hakkai.

And yes, I know what you're about to say, and none of that will change my mind either.

Do you not understand? I thought you were smarter than that.

[Seriously. Daniel. Buddy. Maybe he does have to spell it out more accurately, because it didn't come across apparently. That he is dangerous, deadly, and it does not matter who it is standing in front of him when the bomb goes off.]

[Well... it almost doesn't matter.]

People will die, if I lose control. It does not matter who. It does not matter what they do. I thought you had too much responsibility to your students to throw your life away so casually.

[ Can't believe Hakkai is using Daniel's #1 weakness against him like that--

Though even that doesn't work. Not because he does want to throw away his life easily, because he does have kids counting on him, kids he has to be there for. But no one said Daniel would be throwing his life away here. He has a plan-- even if it might not have seemed like it. ]

I am sending over my Omen. Those can't be hurt.

[ He's very careful with his wording there. Purposefully so. No 'you can't hurt him', because even if that would happen, it's not like Hakkai would be doing it on purpose. It's not an conscious act on his part. ]

Tell me if you need food or anything from your residence here. I'll make him bring it over.

I ...

[It's not worth it. He is not worth it. This kind of effort is better spent on the children. On better people. People who hadn't wiped a town and an entire castle off the map, who hadn't murdered countless others in cold blood. Why does that not sink in?]

[It's so obvious, what he'd done, and it wasn't as if he'd been able to hide it from Daniel. He'd seen it. He'd seen almost every bit of it all. There was no reason someone like this would want anything to do with a monster like him.]

I don't need anything. Except to be left alone.

I'm going to do this either way, you know.

[ Sure, it's not like Daniel will neglect the kids over it - they're his top priority, considering how vulnerable they are in this place. But Hakkai is a friend, and that means he's also up there on Daniel's priority list. ]

So you can either make this easier for me by letting me know where you are so my Omen can check up on you, or I'll just spend all of my free time combing out the area around town until I find you.

[ Two can play this game, Hakkai. ]

Please Don't.

[Don't do that. Don't look for him. Don't send the omen, don't waste any more time on him. Stop worrying over something - someone like him.]

[Just leave him.]

[But he knows if he says that, it's just going to make Daniel try harder.]

I'm sorry. But I'm going to.

[ Not that the latter cancels out the apology, mind you. It's not like Daniel enjoys making things harder for Hakkai, but-- he knows that the true ways to make things hard for Hakkai right now is to leave him alone without any help whatsoever.

To abandon him to this. ]

Have I ever told you I ran out into a storm to save a little girl when I was younger?

I don't think you're scarier than a typhoon. [ If Hakkai really does have some beast-like side to him, then-- well, they're about on the same level. Both just as deadly, right?

Maybe it's because it's about helping someone - and this time even about helping someone important to him - but Daniel finds himself unafraid, just like that time. ] And I'm taking precautions here.

A typhoon does not take perverse pleasure in tearing your organs from your body.

[It's harsh, maybe. Blunt. But it seems like he really needs to drive the point home more than he has. Explain more. Hammer it in that confronting him in any way is a bad idea as he is now.]

It's admirable of you. But this is not the same thing as a storm.

[ Daniel would make a smartass remark that it wouldn't really matter to him whether or not the thing killing him would take pleasure in doing so, since the outcome is the same-- but he at least does realise this isn't exactly the ideal moment for it. ]

My Omen, remember? Can't hurt him. [ Even if Daniel would still be relatively nearby if Hakkai won't give him a direct location to send the Omen to, since he'd have to go out looking himself..

But that sure wouldn't be on Daniel at that point! ]

Why are you being so stubborn about this? Just let me help you. Stop thinking the only way of dealing with all this crap is to do so all by yourself.

[ Yes, he's still saying crap, okay!!

Sue him!! ]

there is no other way!

[Oh, well. That's an exclamation mark there. Emotions! An emotional response! Probably not the best kind, but it's got to be better than stonewalling, right?]

[And then a long stretch of no response.]

fine. the omen But do not. Come to find me. I am pleading with you. You do not seem to want to understand what it is that I am. I cannot I don't want to hurt anyone here.

Thank you.

Send me your location. I promise I will just send my Omen. I won't come myself. He can see how you are doing and if he can do anything to help you.

[ It's a promise he intends to keep himself to. It's not like he really wants to risk his life when he can use his Omen as an intermediary, after all - he couldn't do that to his students, and especially not Robby or Chozen. ]

It will be a spot nearby. I will be there.

[But he won't send the actual location. Just in case. Not that he thinks Daniel would break the promise intentionally... but the man is so soft-hearted, he may be tempted to send something more fragile than an omen.]

[ Thankfully it does seem like Daniel keeps his word.

Because after Hakkai sends the location, there's a little while of nothing - considering Daniel's Omen first has to get out there in the first place. But after a while, the creature does appear at the exact spot it has been pointed to.

Not in its usual form, not the tiny puppy. It's hard to tell whether it's Daniel being careful or the Omen itself - considering they are connected and in a way the same person - but the Omen decided to show up in its larger form, half-lion and half-dog.

If Hakkai isn't there yet, it just stands there, waiting. If the other is there, then the Omen will approach slowly, but keep a careful distance.

(Maybe the latter is for Hakkai's sake, too.)

The moment Hakkai appears, whether he's already there or shows up after he's made sure the Omen is there by itself, the creature stares at the man, before slowly speaking up. ]

Daniel is not here.

[ He's not lying. It's just reassurance. ]

[Well, someone's there.]

[Someone who's fashioned a blanket into a hood and a cloak, to better hide himself. It's Hakkai, though, because his own Omen hasn't gone anywhere. Jeep is perched on one shoulder, tail coiled around and under the hood of the makeshift cloak. Of course, the big dog gets a chirp of greeting.]

[Hey, just because his person is being Weird doesn't mean Jeep can't be polite.]

So I see.

[That's Hakkai's voice, too. Subdued, uncomfortable with this entire meeting, but it's still Hakkai.]

I didn't think he would lie about keeping his word.

[ The Omen sure makes Hakkai a lot more recognizable, despite.. everything else the man has going on here. Not that the shisa wouldn't be able to recognize the other man without Jeep, but-- you know, it sure helps.

And he's even polite enough to duck his head into a slight bow in return to Jeep's little greeting. See, humans are clearly so often being way too busy being weird about things.. Why can't they just be simple like Omens?

Though the Omen is quick to address Hakkai only a moment after his greeting to Jeep. ]

Thank you for trusting him. I know Daniel appreciates it.

[ The shisa can feel as much, after all. Daniel's worry about Hakkai. He's glad, knowing that he could at least send his Omen over to fuss over the other. ]

How have you been holding up out here?

[Humans are so weird, man. Even not-really-humans like his. But that's okay, he stayed with this guy for a reason.]

[Hakkai doesn't answer for a while. Maybe too long. He wants to say how much he does not deserve this. Wants to reiterate it. Just in case there's any lingering confusion. He does not understand this. The man has seen his past. How on earth can he still think...]

[His thoughts finally come back, with help from Jeep's sharp little teeth. Not a bite, just a little nip, dragging him out of his own head.] Ah - thank you.

[Then back to the bigger Omen, still subdued as before.]

It's fine. It isn't the first time I've been camping.

But I assume it is not usually under these circumstances.

[ Sorry, Hakkai. The upside may be that you can't hurt an Omen, but the downside is that this one over here is way more direct than Daniel himself is.

Apparently not afraid of calling someone out. Even if it's said very calmly, much like how the Omen always speaks. ]

Have you been finding food for yourself out here? What about shelter? [ .. a similar fussiness though, no matter how calmly it's being put out here. ]

[Well. He can't argue that. It's usually with three other people. Usually they're sleeping in a car, if nothing else. He's silent, tellingly so, and reaches up to idly run his fingers along Jeep's scales. His hands... both of them are wrapped up. Hiding any exposed skin.]

[Any revealing marks of the tell-tale vines.]

I've taken care of it. You can report that much.

[Jeep cranes his neck around, to give a little trill of agreement. It's not great, but his person isn't lying, either.]

[ Ah, yes, talk about a true Hakkai answer.. Like meeting a brick wall every single time, the Omen thinks. Not that it repels the creature in the slightest. It doesn't even look fazed, just staying stoic. ]

Do you know of any way in which what is going on with you right now can be decreased in intensity?

[ Sure, Hakkai may.. apparently always be like this.

But usually he doesn't feel like he has to stay away from people, so it must be worse than the usual. And there has to be a way to bring it back down. ]

No.

[It can't be helped. It can't be changed. He can't be changed. He made his choice, made the decision to do what he did. To stain his hands. Take those lives. It made him what he was.]

It can't be changed. It was... likely to happen at some point.

[He was bound to lose himself eventually. He just... he had hoped to hold out longer.]

[ ... ]

So you will just stay like this?

[ The Omen has to ask. Especially when he isn't entirely sure if this is Hakkai being honest or Hakkai just.. well, being his dramatic self.

Maybe it's both, at all once. ]

Forever?

This...

This was always here. Under the surface.

[Which is Hakkai-Speak for "yes". There's no other choice. Is there? If his limiters have finally failed, then... then this is what he is now. This horrible, disgusting creature.]

[The murderer.]

[What he truly was, beneath the surface. What he'd warned Daniel he was. I am not a good man.]

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