knowsvinewhip | + IC CONTACT +

[ What? ]

Hakkai.

What's going on?

[ Usually Daniel wouldn't cause a fuss over this. If the circumstances were normal, and Hakkai just wanted to quit, he'd totally get it. It's not like the other owes him, despite what Hakkai himself might bring up whenever he's questioned about why he's helping out at the dojo in the first place.

But this is so suspicious. Call it Daniel's ~~trauma~~ ~~trust issues~~ paranoia, but something here feels off. Hakkai goes to the city, comes back without contacting him at all, and then suddenly says this?

There's got to be more to this. ]

Edited 2023-04-23 09:49 (UTC)

I realize this is sudden, and I do apologize for the lack of proper two weeks' notice. However, I'm certain some of the students are already in positions to replace me - some of them were honing their laundry and kitchen skills even before I'd stepped out. You needn't worry about the chores, they'll be done.

[Yeah he's not even trying to answer the question. He's just talking. Or, typing, rather, in stream of consciousness probably meant to override any protests. At least he can still do that much. He still has that much of his mind left.]

the supplies should all be restocked as well I doubt I left any belongings but if so, do with them as you will.

[ This is so wild. Daniel does kind of wonder if Hakkai is rambling, especially when the other is suddenly sending this much at once.

Especially when he's assuming that the thing Daniel is worried about here is whether or not the chores will get done when Daniel would just as gladly do them himself - but maybe that's at least a little more like the usual Hakkai, who never seems to quite realise his worth in other people's eyes.

But nothing he's reading convinces him he was wrong about his assumption a moment ago. They just drive him further into it. ]

I know something's wrong.

You don't have to tell me what's wrong, if you don't want to. [ Though it's less preferable.. Not because Daniel is nosy, but because he wants to help. Because he wants to make sure Hakkai is alright. ] But at least please tell me you're getting help from someone with whatever is wrong.

[Another reason to keep this to text. Avoiding questions is so much easier this way. Daniel doesn't know how to probe through the mask. Which is not his fault. There's few people who do. Few who can. And none of them are here.]

[What's wrong is he's losing himself. The thin veil of humanity.]

You don't need to concern yourself. The matter will be settled in some fashion.

[One way or another. Though in all likelihood, he won't be able to return to the city. Because he shouldn't. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore - ]

I am concerning myself already!

[ .. in case that wasn't obvious yet.

It probably was already obvious.

Still - there's no way he's going to back down on this one. Maybe on smaller things he'll relent, not wanting to be too fussy, but there's no way there's not something big going on if Hakkai is suddenly being this drastic. ]

Are you still out there in that other city? Or are you back in town?

Yes, so I have noticed.

[Daniel you radiate worry like Hakkai radiates self-loathing.]

[He never should have answered. This was just going to cause problems. Just going to make things worse. The last thing he wants is for Daniel to come out to find him...]

Neither. Please. Do not ask where. I should not elaborate.

Okay.

[ Okay, he won't ask where. Not right away, anyway. As long as Hakkai at least can answer some of his other questions, maybe Daniel can work out this situation after all. Figure out what's going on, and what to do about it, if anything can be done at all. ]

Then tell me why you shouldn't tell me.

Is it because you're worried about something?

[Because I could murder anyone I'm too near - because my horrible demon power is out of control - because I don't know what's gone wrong -]

[Because I am a murderer.]

I suppose you could put it that way. But please do not dig further. For your sake.

[ Wrong thing to write, Hakkai. Maybe Daniel could give up - or back down a little, at least - if it were for Hakkai's sake. That's what he's worried about, after all. Pushing Hakkai so far that he hurts the other.

But if it's for Daniel's own sake? Well, that doesn't feel nearly as pressing. Not when a friend is in clear need. ]

Whatever is wrong, you can't deal with it all by yourself.

You know how that ends up in this sort of place.

I know. I am well aware.

[It's as close to snippy as Hakkai has gotten with this man. At least, beyond the time with the corpses stalking him. But Daniel hadn't been aware of the facts then. He hadn't known like he should.]

So believe me when I say this is the best option available. This is the only thing that can be done.

Do you think I'm just going to let you turn into a beast out there? All by yourself?

[ It's not like Daniel knows what's really going on, after all. And while his assumption actually isn't too far off the mark, he's missing the point in exactly what kind of threat Hakkai is about to turn into.

Still, the principle is kind of the same, isn't it? ]

There's no way. Are you saying you'd just leave me if the roles were reversed?

[ When you're been nagging him about everything until now, Hakkai! ]

[let you turn into a beast]

[Oh sir. Oh you are a good man. You're not the sort of man that Hakkai deserves. This - it probably was only a matter of time before it came out. He just would have preferred it to have been on different terms. But since when was karma ever that kind to someone like him?]

It would not be the same. I know that I am capable of handling a monster.

[... it takes one to handle one, after all.]

You have seen my history. But not the entirety of it - not the penance I paid.

[ Thankfully it's not like the man takes that first part very personally. Handling monsters has nothing to do with strength, after all - or even with anything remotely to do with capabilities in Daniel's own world. People from his world just simply aren't as equipped to handle monsters since it's not a thing there. It's just a fact.

And it's something he's easily distracted from anyway due to what Hakkai follows it up with. ]

What do you mean, penance?

[ Sure. Daniel has seen Hakkai do.. a whole lot of things that weren't exactly great, but he's also seen the man hurt. Not to mention that Daniel refuses to even entertain the thought of Hakkai not being a good person with everything he's done for him here.

So, why-- ]

What happened?

[ Look, if Hakkai has already said this much, he's just got to lay out the entire deal, right? ]

[Daniel you are one of those cinnamon rolls who are too good for this world. Too pure. There is nothing good about this man. It was all washed away in blood and rain. But it's kind of you to care.]

[Kind enough to where Hakkai is absolutely convinced Daniel should be nowhere near him in this state. Not without a safeguard.]

What is the saying? Those who fight monsters become one themselves...? It's a very apt saying.

[That's dancing around the issue too. This dramatic bitch.]

[Then there's silence. For a very long time. His words written, deleted, written again. Before he finally settles on something. Something probably no less dramatic and concerning, but hey. It's more direct.]

Our universe has taken that phrase quite literally. To use terminology from this world - killing enough, murdering enough monsters in cold blood. You will become one.

[Is that enough. Has he made himself clear. Please say yes.]

[ God, well, that does make a whole lot of things make sense. A whole lot of pieces of Hakkai's personality are suddenly clicking in place, alright. So the entire beast thing isn't just a feature of this world, but there's other worlds out there that are just like it - or similar, anyway, since he can already grasp a bit of difference in nuance from what Hakkai is saying here.

But even though that sure as hell is one realisation-- ]

Okay, so where are you right now?

[ --well, it also doesn't change some things. ]

I don't care if you're the freaking purple people eater itself. [ Daniel, p-please don't use old timey dad references that will go right over people's heads-- ] I'm still not going to let you suffer out there by yourself. You're still Hakkai.

And yes, I know what you're about to say, and none of that will change my mind either.

Do you not understand? I thought you were smarter than that.

[Seriously. Daniel. Buddy. Maybe he does have to spell it out more accurately, because it didn't come across apparently. That he is dangerous, deadly, and it does not matter who it is standing in front of him when the bomb goes off.]

[Well... it almost doesn't matter.]

People will die, if I lose control. It does not matter who. It does not matter what they do. I thought you had too much responsibility to your students to throw your life away so casually.

[ Can't believe Hakkai is using Daniel's #1 weakness against him like that--

Though even that doesn't work. Not because he does want to throw away his life easily, because he does have kids counting on him, kids he has to be there for. But no one said Daniel would be throwing his life away here. He has a plan-- even if it might not have seemed like it. ]

I am sending over my Omen. Those can't be hurt.

[ He's very careful with his wording there. Purposefully so. No 'you can't hurt him', because even if that would happen, it's not like Hakkai would be doing it on purpose. It's not an conscious act on his part. ]

Tell me if you need food or anything from your residence here. I'll make him bring it over.

I ...

[It's not worth it. He is not worth it. This kind of effort is better spent on the children. On better people. People who hadn't wiped a town and an entire castle off the map, who hadn't murdered countless others in cold blood. Why does that not sink in?]

[It's so obvious, what he'd done, and it wasn't as if he'd been able to hide it from Daniel. He'd seen it. He'd seen almost every bit of it all. There was no reason someone like this would want anything to do with a monster like him.]

I don't need anything. Except to be left alone.

I'm going to do this either way, you know.

[ Sure, it's not like Daniel will neglect the kids over it - they're his top priority, considering how vulnerable they are in this place. But Hakkai is a friend, and that means he's also up there on Daniel's priority list. ]

So you can either make this easier for me by letting me know where you are so my Omen can check up on you, or I'll just spend all of my free time combing out the area around town until I find you.

[ Two can play this game, Hakkai. ]

Please Don't.

[Don't do that. Don't look for him. Don't send the omen, don't waste any more time on him. Stop worrying over something - someone like him.]

[Just leave him.]

[But he knows if he says that, it's just going to make Daniel try harder.]

I'm sorry. But I'm going to.

[ Not that the latter cancels out the apology, mind you. It's not like Daniel enjoys making things harder for Hakkai, but-- he knows that the true ways to make things hard for Hakkai right now is to leave him alone without any help whatsoever.

To abandon him to this. ]

Have I ever told you I ran out into a storm to save a little girl when I was younger?

I don't think you're scarier than a typhoon. [ If Hakkai really does have some beast-like side to him, then-- well, they're about on the same level. Both just as deadly, right?

Maybe it's because it's about helping someone - and this time even about helping someone important to him - but Daniel finds himself unafraid, just like that time. ] And I'm taking precautions here.

A typhoon does not take perverse pleasure in tearing your organs from your body.

[It's harsh, maybe. Blunt. But it seems like he really needs to drive the point home more than he has. Explain more. Hammer it in that confronting him in any way is a bad idea as he is now.]

It's admirable of you. But this is not the same thing as a storm.

[ Daniel would make a smartass remark that it wouldn't really matter to him whether or not the thing killing him would take pleasure in doing so, since the outcome is the same-- but he at least does realise this isn't exactly the ideal moment for it. ]

My Omen, remember? Can't hurt him. [ Even if Daniel would still be relatively nearby if Hakkai won't give him a direct location to send the Omen to, since he'd have to go out looking himself..

But that sure wouldn't be on Daniel at that point! ]

Why are you being so stubborn about this? Just let me help you. Stop thinking the only way of dealing with all this crap is to do so all by yourself.

[ Yes, he's still saying crap, okay!!

Sue him!! ]

there is no other way!

[Oh, well. That's an exclamation mark there. Emotions! An emotional response! Probably not the best kind, but it's got to be better than stonewalling, right?]

[And then a long stretch of no response.]

fine. the omen But do not. Come to find me. I am pleading with you. You do not seem to want to understand what it is that I am. I cannot I don't want to hurt anyone here.

Thank you.

Send me your location. I promise I will just send my Omen. I won't come myself. He can see how you are doing and if he can do anything to help you.

[ It's a promise he intends to keep himself to. It's not like he really wants to risk his life when he can use his Omen as an intermediary, after all - he couldn't do that to his students, and especially not Robby or Chozen. ]

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